Turniej Pokemon

red001347

1．您大点声不费电!
2．本来会谈话呀,我还以为是瞎子呢.
3．不想当厨子的裁缝不是好司机。
4．谁要不认识他，谁就没吃过猪肉。
5．小妞，给大爷笑一个，不笑，那大爷给你笑一个
6．走本人的路，想说谁说谁去吧！
7．我是一个二手的科学家
8．散场大家都别走啊，我请大家吃饭―――谁去谁掏钱。
9．“大爷，美国怎么走啊?”“那谁知道啊……问村长去!”
10．铁岭到美国还差好多少站地呢!
11．白宫那个白呦--刚刷的浆。
12．这飞机也是柴油的。
13．人干点好事总想让鬼神晓得干点坏事总让鬼神不知道我们太让鬼难堪了
花二百元钱买一小猪儿，吱儿吱儿喝水，嘎巴嘎巴吃豆,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]，解墙头扔过去，吱儿的一声，你猜怎么着―――死了!
14．禽兽(大众)的眼睛是雪亮的
15．给丫碎钱(压岁钱)
16．他放个屁能把白裤衩儿崩成菊花儿的
17．此处不留爷，自有留爷处处处不留爷，老子上铁路!
18．每一个成功的男人当面都有一个女人,但我失败了,由于我背地有两个女人.
19．想闻名，先出书想出书，先失事~!
20．西门大官人跟金莲的诚挚恋情故事~~
21．不能报国平天下，我是谁的丈夫!
22．太贫歌词版...快应用双截棍.哼哼哈依~~~这就完了~你两死这了~~
23．诶~~这学生，太招人稀奇了，我，我认你当我干爹。来，义父，坐，义父
24．美国女神嘛，这手拿着火把，这手拿着书，这是告知我们停电也要学习。
25．我嫂子嫁给我了她一开端是我弟妹
26．不就是割点肉嘛，从大腿上一刀切下来1斤多，吃的好你再来这老太太接过肉来，双手发抖着看着，太肥了。
27．范先生女儿让流氓凌辱.站起身来提着篮子说：吓死我了,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]，我还认为抢鸡蛋那
28．来半瓶啤酒..我们一醉方休..
29．没挨过迷信家的打是吧
30．等我有钱了也买件率领子的衣服。
31．他很传统不喜欢出去玩就爱好看书房子里各种版本的金瓶梅都有
32．老头儿就剩一个牙了，成果吃东西还塞牙了!――吃藕套眼儿里头了
33．他们家人出门不捡着货色就算丢
34．你无耻的样子，颇有我年青时候的韵味。
35．这小伙子长得，把脸挡上跟个演员似的……
36．山中飞禽云中燕，海洋牛羊海底鲜，猴头燕窝鲨鱼翅，熊掌干贝鹿尾尖！甩开腮帮子，撩开后槽牙。饭菜如长江流水，似狼吞虎咽，就跟倒土箱子里似的……
37．烙饼卷馒头就着米饭吃。
38．上次喝多了，拿筷子当鸡爪子，吃了一根半。
39．龙虾，海蟹，哈哈！我就爱吃带壳的！服务员，给他来盘瓜子
40．从今儿起，我吃龙虾再也不就饼了。
41．桌上摆着四盘菜，打开第一个看，呵!真好!老醋花生!翻开第二个，更好了!老醋花生!第三个打开，花生，没醋!第四个一看，一盘醋!
42．我的饭量你是知道的，而且我也不爱吃烤鸭，所以吃了四只我就吃不下去了，我就说：真实未审不能吃了，待会儿回家还要吃饭呢。
43．我毕竟没能飙得过那辆宝马，只能眼看着它在夕阳中绝尘而去，不是我的引擎不好，而是我脚蹬子坏了!
44．901次航班，由打西直门开往中关村，票价5元，请您登机。你说这多有意思。乘务员站那儿得喊，快上快上有大座儿，有大座儿。
45．两口子不一定感情好，情感好不一定是两口子；相声巨匠不一定会说相声，歌星不必定识谱．
46．那锁拿根面条一捅就开，一包便利面能开一小区。
47．遛累了，他坐这，狗坐这，一边高，谁过来都纳闷：这是谁家双胞胎啊？
48．我买50辆好车－－奥拓、奥拓、奥拓……！用铁丝镖起来，开起来跟火车一样！
49．小学上了十年，中学十二年，我被评为全校最熟习的面貌，新老师来了都跟我探听学校内情……
50．接了一活儿，完事能挣三十万……拿过图纸一看，盖一40米的烟囱，等盖好了，人家来一看，把我打了一通，图纸看倒了，人家让挖口井。
51．拿的什么？我妈给带的鸡蛋。给我吃。不给……你猜,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]，猜有几个。我猜出来你给我一个。你要猜出来我把这两个都给你。5个？
52．相声好啊！弘扬真、善、美，藿香正气。
53．多听相声阐明你爱国。咱们街坊有一孩子，会七八国本国语，什么英语、日语、韩语、南斯拉夫语、北斯拉夫语、西斯拉夫语……反正跟八国联军坐一块儿对着骂街他能不重样!跟他说你听听相声去吧。“不去!听不懂!”法律不论我早打逝世他了!会七八国外国话听不懂相声!
54．曾经有一个赚钱的机会摆在我的眼前，然而我没有爱护。机会从前了，我追悔莫及。如果上天再给我一个机遇的话，我愿望跟那个村长说：我乐意去。如果非让我在那工资前面加一个限额的话，我盼望是：400元
55．这事儿离当初不远，家里有白叟的能够回去问问―――在年龄战国时代啊。
56．有困难要帮，没有困难制作困难也要帮。
要不是打不外你，我早跟你翻脸了～
57．住的屋子千疮百孔，一下雨算要了亲命了：外边小雨屋里中雨，外边大雨屋里暴雨，有时候雨切实太大了，全家人都上街上避雨去了。
58．管得着吗？我跟你过这个吗？我跟你不过这个！
59．你叫什么来着，你别说啊，你说算骂街。
60．你要舍得死，我就舍得埋。
61．谢谢大家对我一个人的激励！
62．人来的不少，我很快慰呀。
63．我是一个科学家,有道行的科学家。
64．相声讲求四门作业：坑．蒙．拐．骗！
65．大伙是愿意听啊是乐意听啊仍是违心听啊？你们自己挑，我决不强求。
66．在家上炕上惯了。
67．三楼的朋友们.......你们好!!!（捧：这有三楼嘛）
68．这两天感冒，咳嗽就不单收钱了～
69．相声好多都是编的，就这段是真的。
70．走咱俩出去我让你看看我的纹身你见过哪个B社会的还纹着蜡笔小新呢?
71．法律无论我早打死他了
72．连炸酱面都不爱吃？你忘本啊！！！
73．我艺术家一个多星期了~~~~~
74．一块钱六个手榴弹，我先扔你一百块钱的！
75．你们还能开革了我?这交易是我的
76．你看你脸绿的..光吃波菜你爸爸鼎力水手啊..
77．我要征婚,没什么请求..就是要白皙点的~" 　第二无邪来了个. 那头发,那叫一个白啊
78．我们这些80后的....... 1880后的
79．金庸打电话，用小通达喂?喂! 靠!
80．清明上坟图，一到清明啊，那些个寡妇们啊。。。。。。
81．看交响乐,谦他爸爸站起来了:这孙子还没锯开.....
82．我从不做外活,我是贞洁贤良的代名词,我走到那儿贞节牌坊就跟到那儿
83．什么破饭店，二尺长的龙虾都不，去，给我来份烩饼。
84．高尔基教导我们说：“你不要这个样子。”
85．他连街坊都不认识，还斟酌世界上有没有外星人!
86．买一瓶矿泉水，喝了一口骂--假的!““怎么假的?它兑水了!
87．都是来看您的。真哒?你就认真了听
88．这礼拜就下了两场雨，第一场三天，第二场四天
89．门一开，下来俩小护士，呵````长的贼个美丽，1米七大个，大眼睛，樱桃小口,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]，一纳宽的小腰条，跟退下来的空姐似的，你看吧!!!
90．一家女百家求，怎么好法自己定，就是别把照片贴网上，(指于谦)于冠希!
91．长的跟车祸现场似的!
92．我有一部队,我管他们叫小弟,他们管我叫大哥,我的顾问长叫山鸡!
93．你愿意成为我下1个前女友吗?
94．我都开3迈了，太刺激了
95．你顶多是男九号的裸替...
96．我的腕表老贵了，原价35万，打完折420....
97．当时就差400分就上北大了
98．爱听不听，不听死去 !
99．先生要什么菜?别问，炒这一本的!
100．有招儿想切，没招儿死切。
101．就这样的，教育好了也是一流氓!!!
102．谢谢大家无声的勉励。
103．我不害人就是给社会做奉献了
104．你这样的够枪毙5分钟的
105．我弄死你信么。没挨过流氓打是么。
106．一脸的护心毛
107．师太，你就从了老衲吧
108．那时侯我很傻,也很单纯!都怪他.....
109．有朋自远方来不够你得瑟的~
110．舞蹈的究竟要找钢管。
111．合法我好受的时候，我看见我的女朋友了，和她的男友人在一块
112．xx的爸爸们哪......
113．我要是娘们早爱上我了
114．世上本没有路，走的人多了，有路也没用
115．我跟超人独一的差别就是我把裤衩穿里头了
116．挤对人不行。你给我说明一下这个问题，闭嘴。
117．听相声20 起哄一万三,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], 再笑加钱
118．抬杠比打幡挣得多是不是?
119．你这有鸡吗?服务员:“嘘!我就是”
120．什么事都得往下看，就会很快活，你这失业了，人那还有失身的呢，你媳妇不要你了，她也没要我呀。
121．我都羡慕你! 爱慕什么啊? 这么年轻就认识我啦?!
122．有个孩子啊打小跟他师傅特殊亲。他这师傅一肚子坏水。有一天教孩子，说：小子，回家看见人们家人别的什么也别说就跟他说一句“我知道事件的真相了!”保障有你的利益。这孩子学会了。一回家看见他妈了，上前就是一句：我知道事情的本相了。他妈一听脸都白了赶快拿出五十块钱来给孩子，告诉他：法宝啊别跟你爸说啊，妈给五十块钱拿着花去吧”。不一会又看见他爸了他又说：我知道事情的真相了!他爸一听二话没说拿出二百来放孩子手里了还吩咐孩子：千万别跟你妈说啊!这孩子心想这下发财了啊。找着致富的途径了。看见谁都说我知道事情的真相了。结果有一天看见他们家跟前邮局送信的来他们家那孩子上前就是一句：我知道事情的真相了。送信的一听都哭了说：好儿子，爸爸抱抱”!
123．“您胜利的秘诀是什么”“无非是把别人喝咖啡的世间用在了喝啤酒上”。
124．我那个气啊，狠狠地骂了他一句：我给你滚出去。(焦急嘴不利索)
125．你好我叫郭德纲，你猜我叫什么
126．孔圣人说过：好白菜都让猪给拱了
127．我那个围墙大啊，一面20里地，四周一样长，一个大长方形。
128．我拦住路上的走路那女的筹备打劫，一问才知道是下岗女工，越说越可怜，最后我给她五块钱
129．哪里跌倒就在哪里躺下
130．我不怕难题在我的字典里就没有艰苦两个字。。。。。我就没有字典。。。我的字典就没有字
131．我是没有锅，有锅我早就把你炖了
132．乐得我牙都快碎了!
133．怎麽砸开监狱的锁的?窝头
134．有个英文名字，二秃子
135．布什有一秘书，叫王富贵儿
136．我不欺负人,欺侮我不行.骂我的人都是晚上关上灯,披上被窝,拉上帘,坐电脑跟前,打俩行字吃三回速效.我不是艺术家,我振兴不了相声,那是全世界说相声独特的事业,我充其量就是震撼,还是手机搁桌子上那种.
137．天塌下来有武大郎顶着人活着的就是为了挣钱!
138．上街应聘流氓去
139．吃牛排要半成熟的,一刀切下去~噗~溅了一脸的血~切血管上了
140．先生请你自重!我们只卖身，不卖艺!
141．曾经德云社一票难求，听众在票贩子的指引下井然有续的排队买票
142．流氓会武术，谁也挡不住。科学工作者家会技击，流氓也挡不住。
143．感激上帝赏给我的卤煮，一睁眼睛，谁给我拿走了？
144．再说一个，说个什么呢？说点实事吧
145．我不常常见解制在线（不知道是在损谁）
146．一粪车从他们家门前过都得出去试试咸淡
147．两个新闻，一个好消息，一个坏消息。你要先听哪一个？"坏的"。坏消息是：我们已经迷路啦！只能吃牛粪了！"好消息呢？"好消息是：牛粪有的是！
148．谁要不意识于谦，谁就没吃过猪肉
149．说相声得卖力量，我这都出了汗了，您看人家就不出汗，人那汉都养着
150．卡拉是条狗，我写的，我打算再写一个于谦是个猪。
151．说得不好也鼓掌。你看今天多好，一个鼓掌的都没有。
152．我们都开车回北京了，于老师他身份比我们高，他看我们开车，瞧不起我们，自个蹬自行车回去了。
153．好么!这飞机跟大发一样，还带摇玻璃的!......坐大发、夏利不给报 ......天津没大发了，都倒腾美国去了 ......飞到美国走了半年加了4万多回油。
154．我要自残，盘算跳楼，这跳楼我有研讨，2楼跟20楼不一样，2楼是“啪”、“啊”，20楼是“啊~~~~”“啪”
155．这天我跟成见来在了火车站，车票都卖没了，偏见到一pol.ice面前问：“你知道票贩子在哪儿吗?”pol.ice一听乐了：“我还找呐!”

john3859

Cocktail Dress Patterns
It always amuses me to see a wardrobe full of clothes. However, when it comes to dressing up for a cocktail party, you'll find me sitting in a secluded corner of my room, too low to even experiment with the clothes I have, and so infuriated that I, sometimes, end up turning down my plans. What? Why that surprised gaze? If you are a female reading this, you aren't astonished, I know. But if you are a male reading this, don't you know we are the sex that obsesses about what we wear and how we wear? For me, that conventional (always a life-rescuer) cute, tiny, li'l black dress does the trick at most occasions, for I very well know of the fact that when you're clueless about getting into the right clothes [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], black emerges as the only Good Samaritan to your party-wear lot.
But then, the issue is, till when, and how many times? If you are an avid party freak, you wouldn't want to wear the same color and pattern over and over again - not because people would start noticing, but because you'll no more be confident wearing [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] of similar pattern every time you go for partying. So, if you're hunting all over hell for a sexy, chic cocktail dress, here I put forth relevant information with regards to the various cocktail dress patterns that are available in the market. Take a look at what the following section has to say.
Beautiful Cocktail Dress Patterns
Rules for selecting clothing don't change with your age, if you've maintained your body. Problem areas stay the same, and hence, you pick up a [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] that flaunts your positive areas. So, whether it is the prom or the New Year's eve, only the correct pick of cocktail attire will accentuate your body.
To start with [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you could wear knee length dresses for a dinner party, or a short cocktail dress for a jazzy night out. On the other hand, if it's a wedding, the perfect [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] would be going for a long vintage cocktail dress. Patterns in wedding dresses differ in accordance with your body shape. For example, if you have thunder thighs or you're towards the plumper domain, don't go for skin-fitted cocktail dresses as they would make you feel utterly awkward. On the other hand, if you're very slim, you could go for dresses with a frilled-pattern. They efficiently accentuate your look, while keeping your sleekness at bay. With that said, here are all the cocktail dress patterns available in the market for you to choose from.
[b]The Halter[/b]
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Nothing's as sexy a cocktail dress as the [link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. The best thing about this cocktail dress is that you really don't need to care about your body type, for the halter that goes beyond your neck and ties up, elongates your torso, and creates an illusion of a slimmer you. What's more, you could go for a frock-like pattern if you're a bit plumper, for showing your hips wouldn't look nice. One thing you should mull over while wearing an [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] is that, you need to refrain from showing your bra straps while wearing a halter top cocktail dress [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], for it looks extremely ugly. What's more, those sleek could go for a thin strap, while those who're a bit chubby should go for thicker straps.
[b]The Wrap[/b]
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What say about a white silk wrap dress that is timeless favorite? When you wear a [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] with immense elegance, team it up with high heel stilettos, and apply that trademark red lipstick, you wouldn't want to be neglected, trust me. A wrap dress makes up for one of the most perfect cocktail dress patterns, and a dark color choice such as shades of red, orange, navy blue [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and pastel accentuate your look like none other. Note that, if you're a bit plump, wrap dresses could be the best pick to hide your bust line!
[b]The A-Line[/b]
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Are you one of those that love keeping it simple? Well, some simple cocktail dress patterns such as the A-line cocktail dresses could be your best pick if you're out with friends, or at a wedding party in the day time. What's more, if you love being girly, and prefer giving a dainty feminine touch to everything you wear, an A-line dress in floral patterns could make you look adorable and sexy at the same time. What's more, if you wear an off-shoulder dress at the cocktail party, you don't need anything else, but a li'l bit of make up. Guess what? You're sorted, and all-set to steal the show!
[b]The One-Shoulder[/b]
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I'm already jealous! If you're in possession of toned arms and collar bones, I wouldn't refrain from calling you one of the luckiest females on the face of this earth. Dude, you could have any supermodel's nose to grindstone if you know how to flaunt your curves and toned arms and legs. Hey, the quintessential one-shoulder cocktail dress pattern is yours! Go for the Goddess dress pattern if you're out on an official dinner party, or simple pick up a cool one-shoulder dress for a friends-night-out! Wear gladiator sandals with such a dress [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and whoosh! Be ready to witness some lusty glances at the party (just kidding!). Make the most of your toned figure, and certainly avoid wearing this dress if you are a fuller-figure!
The Sexy, Li'l Black Dress
[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
The above four might make up for different cocktail dress patterns, but there's nothing that can stand a chance against the sexy black dress that's a must-have wardrobe essential for every woman who believes in herself. There's a thing about black. You wear a black dress one fine day, and people wouldn't recognize it when you wear it again. That's the best thing about the black dress. Nothing can make you look sexier than this kind of a [link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. It doesn't ask what kind of party you're going to attend, what time of the day is it, or what kind of gathering are you expecting. You wear it, and you're safe. Fetch a black dress of any pattern, it's bound to look sexy on you. Wear it with boots, stilettos, flats, or anything! Suits you, trust me.
You know, there's a thing with these cocktail dress patterns. You really need to look for the type of body you have. It's a tricky situation, if you ask me. While the correct pick of the [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] would make you look exceptionally sexy, a pick gone wrong could turn your look into a total disaster. Whatever be it, it's ultimately upon you as to how would you pick up the cocktail dress that speaks volumes about you.
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